awake

the more hours i'm awake the worse my hunger pains get
;but enjoying them means i'm closer to it
i should sleep but i want ana now
its hard...
current weight atm
7st 7lbs
FAT
gosh, get me out of this fat suit

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my bmi is healthy, but i want it to be less thaan that
i always say tomroow will be different
but some times i just wait for tomroow to come
thursday my plan is
yogurt x2
red bull [diet]
weetabix

failure is not an option
at this point
it certainly is not


xo.

ana fails me
it was made in me, to fail me
like most things, in my life
but ana is different
becuase i allowed such a thing to enter my life
so it will not fail me
i will not allow it to fail me

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if i push, if i thrive i can easily do this
i need to want it hard enough

ana is one struggle i will face everyday
and hunger pains: drives my need for ana even more

this thing this way of life will not fail me